So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize