Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
