it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
