Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
