I wanna passion pit in your ass
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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