i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
