Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize