South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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