IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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