I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
