I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
