There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
