you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
