there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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