doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
