Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
