he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He shit in the fireplace
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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