do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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