How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
