Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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