he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
