What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
