She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
