I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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