hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Mom said you looked used
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
