Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You are the jesus of drinking
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
