My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
