Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
