im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
