that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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