Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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