Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
