there were more penises there than on chat roulette
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
