I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
