Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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