Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
