I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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