There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i out mim tonsoeep
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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