do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
