I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
