I can't watch pbs sober anymore
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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