That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
