and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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