There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
