guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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