I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize