i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
vagina is talking i cant
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
