I smell stomach acid.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
