): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
