there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
