She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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