have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
