When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
