Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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