Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
