did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
