I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize