I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
