Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
