I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
