is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
