He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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