i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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