he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
